A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says, "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Engineering or Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do," replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "you must be a Program Manager."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
Mark Twain
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and  forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,  wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts!
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