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Actual Stupid Signs
In a Maine restaurant:
"Open seven days a week and weekends."
On a long established
New Mexico dry cleaning store:
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."
On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal church"
In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."
Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits - $100 -
They won't last an hour!"
In a laundry room:
"Do not put wet clothes in dryers,
as this can cause irreparable damage.
In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed."
On a poster on a telephone pole in Oregon:
"Are you an adult that cannot read?
If so, we can help."
On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head"
I put a dollar in one of those change machines.  Nothing changed. 
~George Carlin
There are only two authentic portraits of Shakespeare  today; the engraving of William Shakespeare by Martin  Droeshout first published on the title page of the 1623  
First Folio and the monument of the great playwright in  Stratford's Holy Trinity Church in Stratford.

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