REAL NEWSPAPER ADS:
Snow blower for sale...
Only used on snowy days.

Wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 each 5-finger glove, 1 each 3-finger glove
pair: $15

Cows, calves never bred...
Also 1 queer bull for sale.

Nordic track $300 hardly used,
490-7000 - Ask for Chubby

Georgia peaches California grown
  - 89 cents lb.

Nice parachute:
never opened - used once

Joining nudist colony!
Must sell washer & dryer $300.

Open house: body shapers toning salon
- free coffee & donuts
"Jerkwater" is a railroad term. Until about fifty years ago, most trains were pulled by thirsty steam engines that needed to refill their boilers from water towers next to the tracks. But some towns were so small and inconsequential that they lacked a water tower. When trains stopped in those places, the crew had to find a nearby stream or well and, bucket-brigade style, "jerk" the water to the train. Those little dots on the map became known as jerkwater towns.
Poetry is what gets lost in translation. 
~Robert Frost
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