The Life Of Riley

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.

Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.

The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out.

You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.

I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most

beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."

The new man asked, "What happened?"

"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

--Groucho Marx

The address where Mrs. O'Leary's cow presumably kicked over a lantern, starting the Chicago fire in 1871, is now the address of the Chicago Fire Academy.