A Day In Court
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character.  She charged that he had called her a pig.  The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"

The judge said that was true.

"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked.

The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

The man turned and looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
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"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs  treat us as equals." 
- Winston Churchill
In Maryland, men may not buy drinks for female bartenders.

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