A Bad Day in Court
The lawyer stood before the judge only to hear that court would be adjourned for the day and he would have to return the next day. "What for?" the lawyer yelled the judge.

The judge, equally irked by a tedious day and the lawyer's rude treatment, roared, "Fifty dollars....contempt of court. That's why!" Upon noticing the lawyer was checking his wallet, the judge relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay the fine right now."

The lawyer replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough to say three more words."
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"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
-Groucho Marx
In Maine, it is illegal to sell a car on Sunday unless it comes equipped with plumbing.

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