A drunk gets on a bus and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork. "About 2 hours," says the conductor.
"Okay," says the drunk, "then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?"
The irate conductor says to the drunk "It's still about 2 hours, man.
"Why'd ya think there'd be a difference?"
"Well," says the drunk, "It's only a week between Christmas and New Year's, but it's a helluva long time between New Year's to Christmas!"
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Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obituary.
She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad about him passing away. She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars.
But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died." The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he'd give her three more words. Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: "Pete died. Boat for sale."
Legend tells us that the shamrock became associated with Saint Patrick's Day because of a time when he was trying to explain the concept of the trinity--the
Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost--to some unbelievers in one of his congregations. The unbelievers simply could not understand the concept of there being one God, yet three beings in one too. It is said that Patrick was preaching outside in an open-air church service. He then reached down and plucked a shamrock from the ground. He then showed it to the unbelievers and then went on to explain how the three leaves of the shamrock are united on one
stalk. Thus, the three parts of the trinity are united in one God.
