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Just Like Jim
A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Jim."
"Who?"
"Jim Bronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Jim every single time."
"There are always a few clouds over everybody."
"Not Jim. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star."
"He was something, huh?"
"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."
"No wonder you remember him."
"Well, I never actually met Jim."
"Then how do you know so much about him?"
"I married his widow."
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
~George Bernard Shaw
Mary Todd once dated both Abe Lincoln and Stephen Douglas. She chose Lincoln because he showed more promise, and she was right - he was good at everything.
