Bobbing Apples:
What happens when you jog without a bra.

Boogieman:
The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

Coffin:
What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.

Frankenstein:
Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full Moon:
What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your
fridge.

Goblin:
How you eat the snickers bars you got for Halloween.

Invisible Man:
What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also,
see "Mr. Hyde."

Jack O' Lantern:
An Irish Pumpkin.

Jack the Ripper:
What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week.

Mummy:
The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

Pumpkin Patch:
What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.

Skeleton:
Any supermodel.

Vampire Bat:
What Dracula hits a baseball with.

Witch:
See "Mother-in-Law."

Zombie:
What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee

Halloween Lingo
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Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. 
~Author Unknown
Bette Davis wanted the part of Mrs. Frankenstein, but was  turned down because she was "too aggressive."

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