Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite
Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
It had no body to dance with.
Whom did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up.
After the flash on his camera malfunctioned, what did Satan get back
from the drugstore?
Prints of darkness
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately
Why do witches think they're funny?
Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.
What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?
He had to give it back.
How can you send mail to skeletons
By bony express
Why did Dracula break up with his sweetie?
She wasn't his blood type.
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He did not have a haunting license.
How did the ghost repair his sheet?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why aren't there any famous skeletons?
They're a bunch of no bodies.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich
Why did the doctor tell the zombie to get some rest?
He was dead on his feet.
How did Dracula introduce his wife before he married her?
This is my ghoul-fiend
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone.
What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
What do you give a vampire with a cold?
Coffin Drops!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash
When is it bad luck to see a black cat
When you're a mouse.
What kind of monster do you have to look out for at the Laundromat?
A washin' werewolf
How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
By blood vessels
What does a ghost eat for breakfast??
Scream of wheat!
Ghost-Toasties
