What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suck.
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer
Mommy, Mommy!, the kids at school call me a werewolf!
Shut up son and go brush your face.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A Hoblin Goblin!
What happens when two vampires meet?
It is love at first bite!
Why are black cats such good singers?
They're very mewsical.
One witch told another witch, "I want one of those new computers that
has a spell checker."
What's a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north.
What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Hallowieners.
Where do little ghosts learn to yell "BOO!"?
In noisery school.
What does a goblin shop for?
Grosseries.
How can you tell when windows are scared?
They get shudders.
What do you call serious rocks?
Grave stones.
Why did the witch stand up in front of the audience?
She had to give a screech
What's the first thing that a witch does in the morning?
She wakes up!
What do you call a wizard who's black and blue all over?
Bruce!
Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
To keep their heads warm!
Mother vampire to son: Hurry up and eat your breakfast before it clots.
What do you get if you cross a river with an inflatable zombie?
To the other side!
Waitress to Dracula, "How would you like your stake, and would you
like cream in your coffin?"
Western Union opened an office in a grave yard so the spooks could
send and receive crypt-o-gram
Little devils brush their teeth with Imp-U-Dent.
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
Because his heart wasn’t in it.
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to arrive?
Because they only run a skeleton service.
What doesn't a ghost need in his house?
A living room!
People who play the stock market get happy on haloween. Why?
Its ticker treat night!
What do you call a merry-go-round for ghosts?
A Scare-ousel
Why did the other kids have to let the vampire play baseball?
It was his bat.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...
What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost when they got in thier
car?
Fasten your sheet belt.
What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
A wash-and-werewolf.
What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.
What do you say when you meet a 3 headed monster?
Hello, Hello, Hello
Warlock: The only way to stop Bush from invading Iraq
Spector: What Mom will do to our candy before we start goblin.
Mr. Hyde: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done.
(Marsha Coleman)
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting for two hours!
What do you call a skeleton that is always telling lies?
A boney phoney!
What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he goes out to work in
the evening?
"Have a nice bite"!
Why did the ghost go to the funfair?
He wanted to go on a rollerghoster!
How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give them a hand!
When do cannibals cook you?
On Fried-days!
Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps.
What did the vampire do when he saw a funeral procession?
He took a turn for the hearse
