This guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back.

"What on earth are you?" asks the host. 

"I'm a snail," says the guy. 

"But...  you have a girl on your back," replies the host. 

"Yeah, he says, "that's Michelle!"
Costume Pun
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Last night, there came a frost, which has done great damage to my garden.... It is sad that Nature will play such tricks on us poor mortals, inviting us with sunny smiles to confide in her, and then, when we are entirely within her power, striking us to the heart.  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
The difference between apple juice and apple cider is that the juice is pasteurized and the cider is not.

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