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A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line, "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake!"
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
~ Jack Handey
MISTAKEN DRUNK
The Sahara Desert expands at a rate of about 1 km each month
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