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GEORGE CARLINISMS
Why are wrong numbers never busy?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down
the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do.
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,does
he become disoriented?
Why do the signs that say "Slow.. Children" have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- GEORGE CARLIN
George Carlin joined the Air Force, then worked as a radio disc jockey before moving to Los Angeles in 1962.
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